Lack of motivation" is a generally misunderstood symptom of depression. It does not mean that I sit around thinking, "Oh, I’m so depressed; why bother to do shit I don’t want to do anyway." It means not that I lack discipline, but that there is a mental disconnect between my conscious mind, which says I want or need to do X, and the part of my brain which actually initiates activity. It prevents me from doing things I would very much like to do, as well as things I need to do, rather than indicating simply a lack of interest in doing things which are not immediately rewarding.
If you want or need to go somewhere, whether somewhere you’re eagerly looking forward to going, or somewhere routine, or to the dentist for a root canal which you may be much averse to but have nevertheless decided will leave you better off in the long run, and you get in your car, turn the key in the ignition repeatedly, yet the engine sputters but does not engage, this is not an indication that you don’t really want to go anywhere. It’s an indication that something is wrong with the equipment you need to transport you there.
I am fully capable of sitting for hours, thinking periodically, “I need to pee,” then, “I really need to pee,” and eventually, “Damn, I need to pee,” before being able to jump start the part of my brain which engages with the task of getting up and walking the ten feet to the bathroom, and initiates the movement which allows me to do that.
The more complex the task, the harder it can be, because a more complex sequence of actions must be, in some sense, imagined and targeted before the actions necessary to bring them about can be initiated. Most people are unaware that this process even takes place, because in a healthy brain, it occurs swiftly and automatically. In my brain, it does not.
Check out the contrast between these search results. Not a single “loser”, “easy”, “desperate”, “stupid”, “scum” or similar insult in the search results for fathers.
Why, society, are single fathers so often seen with sympathy and admiration, yet single mothers are painted as a washed-up, disgusting strain on the system?
This is fucked.
I know this is rhetorical, but we know the reason. Motherhood is not valued in this country, it’s demanded. We have people fighting tooth and nail against abortion, birth control, and then any social program that helps poor mothers. If the world sees you as a woman, you are expected to desire, birth, and raise children, and if you don’t do that, or you do it while poor, or single, or not white, you’re not only failing as a woman but as a mother. But men, they don’t get defined by their reproductive abilities! They get to be multi-dimensional! And if they spare an occasional thought for the children they brought into the world, it’s a cherry on top of their identity as a person. Women don’t get the luxury of existing as people outside of parenting, even in 2013. And until we do, this is the shit we’ll be dealing with.
"Motherhood is not valued in this country, it’s demanded."
A few months ago, physicist Harold White stunned the aeronautics world when he announced that he and his team at NASA had begun work on the development of a faster-than-light warp drive. His proposed design, an ingenious re-imagining of an Alcubierre Drive, may eventually result in an engine that can transport a spacecraft to the nearest star in a matter of weeks — and all without violating Einstein’s law of relativity.